My Story..& My Carers.

When the depression first hit me I didn't know what it was. I just hoped it was going to go away.. especially since I'm not one to talk about my feelings. Coach H. was the first person that noticed the change in me. She was the first person I confided in on how I was feeling. She is a coach though so I don't talk to her much since she is busy and I don't want to bother her.. But when I talked to her I still didn't talk to the main person that could get me help.. my mom. Me & my mom don't have the relationship where I can go talk to her about anything so I really didn't know how to talk to her about this.. So as months went on the toll on me went up and things just became worse..
The weirdest start to a relationship ever lol. So early in the semester i was in math (sophomore year). Our old math teacher got fired and a they hired a new one.. This teacher Ms. E was no joke. She was strict and was all about teaching. But she was a excellent teacher. Anyway I mentioned my grades dropped. I used to be a A student and now a C & D one. So almost everyday in that class I slept.. I didn't do crap in that class. Nobody cared or noticed me and I didn't care either.. My grade was probably a 50 something. Anyway the next semester in this class we got a new math co-teacher Coach B.  and he actually was my co-teacher for my freshman year when I actually did work :). I considered him as a father figure since I talked to him about everything. He saw what I was doing in class and started making me come to tutoring. Since I was still in basketball season it collided with basketball so I didn't go that much. After basketball season a very unproductive one for me I started going to tutoring more often to see what I could do with my grade. This probably was around 5 months in and this is when things were still getting worse but I was starting to numb myself out. Stopped talking to a lot of friends.. stopped hanging out... stopped working out.. I was all over the place. One day after tutoring the math teacher Ms. E & some others were just casually talking and she seemed so cool as just a person not a teacher. Something kept bothering me to talk to her. I think it was probably the guilt of sleeping in her class together so I did. I told her everything & I can now call her my second mom.. She actually had some good advice.. oh yeah I got myself to a good point where I was able to get a 74 in her class. Now when I was struggling in Math 3 I went to her for tutoring. I go to her just to talk.. to hang out.. to just be somewhere except home since there is a lot of fighting there. She was the one who told me to get help, to talk to my mom.. Coach H. Coach B. and Ms. E all saved my life and without them I think I wouldn't be here right now. I don't want to put this in past tense on my condition because I do still have depression. I actually didn't even go on meds yet and this is one of my toughest periods of depression yet. But those nights I want to end it all I think of them and how it will affect them. I guess sharing this with you will show you that compassion and advice can save someones life.. that you can make it.. and most importantly don't wait to get help. If you struggle with this I'm sorry to say but it won't go away by itself you need professional help. You might feel like this is a weakness but its not.. Its an illness and if it wasn't an illness why would they have medicine for it? Another way to motivate you is to search in Google is life after recovering from depression and see how these peoples lives changed with medication and therapy. Life is hard with depression and so is recovery but you have to get help or symptoms can worsen.. now that isn't fun.
Click here for tips and recovery processes.  Stay strong.. Stay hopeful.. & most importantly stay healthy whether it be physically and/or mentally. Don't make the mistake of waiting depression out because it believes that's its invite in.